I’ve had this tumblr for years now, I’m not sure how long exactly, but over 5 years because I remember blogging at least my senior year. I made a new tumblr a couple of years ago with new interests and new friends, but I’ve recently logged back in on to this one and, wow, what a difference I’ve made in my life.

I was going through my personal tags and let me just tell you how much that felt surreal. I’m looking back and reading about high school and my first piercing (and only still lol) and seeing who I was friends with and I’ve had to stop myself from falling down a spiral of anxiety and self destruction.

I was so embarrassing back then lol.

Also, I was a jerk. I remember thinking and feeling things that I’m not proud of. Saying things to people that I cared about because they hurt me, or would say something and I’d freak out on them. Or I would carelessly joke about things that weren’t funny. I was friends with some people that I said shitty things about because I guess I thought it would make me cool to the right people. I’ve said a lot of fucked up things in my life to be honest.

What I have to remember was that I was a teenager. A literal child. Not that I’m saying I’m super mature now, but I’ve grown as a person and I think I’m better for it.

I guess I wanna say I’m sorry to the people I’ve hurt, even though I don’t think they’ll never see this, and that I’m sorry.

One thing I’ve learned is that to be sincere I have to let go of all past hurts and realize that while the other person may have been shitty, how I’ve reacted is all on me.

To the person who hurt me the most and I’ve hurt the most, I’m sorry.

How things ended was awful. I’ve thought a lot about it in the past years and I’ve realized that I am truly sorry for how I handled things. I can’t forget some of the things that happened. I can’t forget how you made my anxiety and depression worse with what seemed like little care on your part. I won’t forget how I felt when I couldn’t make my own friends for fear you would have a break down. I won’t forget how you expected me to be there for you 100 without feeling like I had the support I needed as well.

I don’t expect you to forget how you felt when I wasn’t being more understanding of your mental health issues. I don’t expect you to forget how I was emotionally needy as well, but refused to talk about it. I don’t expect you to forget all of my flaws.

The last thing I’ll say about this is that I am sorry for how everything ended. I wished we talked more about our problems. I’m not blaming you for kicking me out, but I wish I could have stayed or tried harder to fix someone our issues.

I hope you’re happy now. I don’t know what happened to you because you blocked me and no one posts anything about you. I hope that’s a good thing. I hope you got the help you deserved. I hope you went on to finish that degree and are now doing the thing you loved.

Looking back I can tell we just weren’t good for each other, but it was a great learning experience, and I wouldn’t trade our happy moments for anything and I hope one day you can feel the same.

I want to end the post by saying that I’m a better person now, I feel. I’ve let go of a lot of anger and resentment from my childhood and try to focus on the positive things now.

Yes, I’m still a mess and a lot of shit to figure out. That’s just part of being human though isn’t it?

petiotte:

If you see this

You were visited by the magic kitten of rest. Reblog to have a good night’s sleep.

(via iamthegut-grinder)

kyraneko:

themiscyra1983:

kyraneko:

missif-15fandoms:

actual-ironman-tonystark:

marisatomay:

actual-ironman-tonystark:

shakspaere:

alrightanakin:

Every Adult In “Harry Potter” Let Us Down At Some Point And That’s Important a 900 page dissertation by me

And that includes Joanne Kathleen Rowling a tear stained afterword by me

Hagrid Is The Exception a rebuttal by me

The Time Hagrid Told Voldemort How to Take Out Something Protecting an Object that Grants Immortality When He Was Drunk and Other Well-Meaning Fuck Ups a lengthy chapter

You’re Absolutely Right a retraction

How dare you assume Molly Weasley has done anything wrong ever

That Time Molly Yelled At The Twins And Ron For Saving Harry From Abuse And Starvation, Thus Likely Communicating To The Abused Kid In Her Presence That His Welfare Was Less Important Than Not Borrowing The Car, That Time Molly Was Utterly Condescending About How Harry Is A Child And Doesn’t Deserve To Know Anything In A Way That Probably Heightened His Determination To Prove Otherwise, That Time Molly Said The Twins Put Together Aren’t As Good As Any Of Their Brothers Over OWL Results That They Worked Hard On And Were Proud Of, That Time Molly Forcibly Cut Her Adult Son’s Hair Right Before His Wedding, That Time Molly Spent A Year Being Mean And Rejectful Toward Her Son’s Fiancee, That Time Molly Sent Hermione A Deliberate “Fuck You” Present For Easter Because She Believed A False Story Written In Witch Weekly Without Making Any Attempt To Ask The People Actually Involved, Those Times She Made Her Youngest Son’s Christmas Sweaters His Least Favorite Color, And Every Time She Belittled Her Husband’s Hobby, The Twins’ Interests, And Bill’s Appearance Because She Couldn’t Be Bothered To Understand Or Value Or Even Be Kind About Them a detailed reminder that no one’s perfect and sometimes what one person doesn’t mind or see hits another person hard

Florean Fortescue Just Wanted To Sell Some Ice Cream And Help Harry With His Homework He Is The Only Adult Who Didn’t Mess Up Until Getting Killed By Voldemort, RIP an increasingly strident addendum by me

OK You’re Absolutely Right Florean Fortescue Was In Fact Perfect As Far As I’m Aware a concession by me

(via sillystringlouis)

professorsparklepants:

tuesdayisfordancing:

ozymandias271:

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody: 

zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/

noun

1. a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).

ISN’T THAT AWESOME??

#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class#and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one

(via ophyliakilledhamlet)

bonos-grindcore-sideproject:

berlynn-wohl:

puppyvegeta:

the-stonedsoldier:

Pros of writing gay relationships: 

- gay

Cons of writing gay relationships:

- they both have THE SAME FCKIN PRONOUNS SO I CONSTANTLY HAVE TO NAME BOTH CHARACTERS BECAUSE OTHERWISE IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL WHO’S DOING WHAT OR WHO’S SPEAKING WHO WILL SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL

I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE’S A POST ABOUT THIS. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.

Worst way to deal with this: use epithets (the taller man, the blonde) DO NOT

Best way to deal with this: Use the pronouns a teensy bit more than you maybe feel is sufficient. Leave the fic for two days before editing (i.e. allow yourself to forget it a little). Come back and re-read. If at any point YOU can’t tell who’s doing what to whom, put names in. Leave the rest of the pronouns.

Also, for dialogue: use characterization instead of names. Let it be clear by the things that are said, the way they are said, who is saying them.

Readers are smart, let them infer sometimes. :)

^^Great advice for all kinds of writers!

(via cherylfails)

not gonna say it again!!!!

ofools:

a BOG is a wetland that is acidic

a FEN is a wetland that is alkaline

(via diggingandfluff-deactivated2017)